My Juggling Act

Roy got his yearly Social Security report and he looked to see how much money I would get if he were to pass away. It freaked him out that I couldn't support the family on what I would get even with the house being paid off. He started to question my choice of a degree which got me questioning my choice so
I went back to look at elementary ed. and that freaked me out. If I switched I would have only a handful of classes that would count instead of being halfway through my Associates Degree. Then again when I get farther into my degree I will be taking even more studio classes that take double the class time plus homework so that maybe it would all come out even as far as time was concerned. I was starting to panic. If I was going to change I need to do it after this semester and not waste any more time.

 It hasn't helped that I had been worrying because I wasn't enjoying my 2-D design class. It is so different from anything I have ever done in the way of art before. I have always been a paintbrush, pencil, and pen artist and here I was in a classroom where the only other person my age is the professor and they are all so familiar with the computers and programs. I was very confused so I decided to fast, ponder and pray about it Sunday. The confusion left but I didn't feel real sure about my path until Monday afternoon. I was sitting in 2-D design class and it just felt right. I presented my project and I may not have gotten an A but I am sure of a B. I didn't use some of the tools the other students had (we hadn't been taught yet) but we weren't being graded on anything we didn't know. For the first time I walked out of class feeling good not overwhelmed.

Now that I am comfortable with my degree, again, I am focusing on doing the work. I don't know how I am going to get my assignments done this week. The problem is my Comp. class. We are supposed to go to the library this week and find sources for our paper. I don't know how to get there. There is a reason I am taking an on-line class. How do you take a 1,3 and 5 year old to the library and get anything done? Monday I have class, Tuesday I have Audrey to babysit for me maybe I can sneak out for a while in the afternoon but not for long Tyler's All-State concert is in the evening at the Convention Center. Wednesday I watch Jordyn in the morning and have class in the afternoon and in the evening we are going to the temple. Thursday Audrey is around again but she will be watching kids while I take Peter to his first Dentist appointment and then again in the afternoon when I take Melissa and Blake to  the dentist. Thursday evening is the normal craziness with tap class, scouts, working on the girls fundraiser for camp and activity days for Emma. Friday the library is closed and Saturday I need to delivery the candy baskets for the fund raiser and the dance is in the evening. How do I leave the kids for the afternoon as well? This is a very bad week for this assignment. I need to get out and take pictures for the art class but that is not a problem with kids in tow. My plan has been to get my work done by Friday afternoon so that my schooling is not interfering with family time. This definitely going to challenge my juggling skills.

I was talking to Sarah today and she said that her professors at BYU love Google Scholar and encourage them to use it. I think it's interesting that I'm not to use it for my class. I have used it before and found plenty of free info. Ryan turned me on to it.

Ryan just got home from his morning classes and he said the roads were terrible. He nearly got into 3 accidents on the way to school and 2 on the way home. His car is stuck two houses down he couldn't get all the way up the street even with new tires on his car. I'm not going anywhere today until I go with Roy and Neal to the concert. I don't even dare take the van in these conditions, if I get stuck, which has happened before, there is no way to push a 15 passenger van out.

I have gotten my first few grades from my comp. class and those have me feeling good. I will feel even better when I see a good grade on a real assignment and not just on a discussion. I didn't used to care so much about grades. I'm not sure why. Am I trying to prove something to myself, my husband, my kids or my Dad or is it that I just like the feeling of really doing well? Maybe I've just listen to myself lecture my kids about grades for so long I better walk the walk.