Aunts and Uncles

I can't believe it has been a whole month since I've last written.  Finals and the holidays have taken all my time.  It was worth it.  I got "A"s in both of my classes and the holidays have been very nice, even with illnesses popping up here and there in the family. Sarah, Jace and Lucy have come to town.  Lucy is being smothered in love by her uncles and aunts. At times we have to rescue her from the attention. I am still getting used to my kids being called aunt and uncle.  Lydia had an easier transition.  She was carrying her doll around in a carrier she got for Christmas and toting the matching diaper bag when I asked her if she was being a good mommy.  "No" she replied, "I not a mommy, I Lydia, Aunt Lydia."

A tub and spells

It doesn’t take long for a mother to learn one cry from another and to pay attention to the most urgent ones. When a child screams in pain or terror a mother comes running.  Lydia was outside my bedroom door screaming “No, No, don’t!” in such a way that I knew she needed immediate help.  There at the top of the stair she sat in a large plastic tub.  John was with her explaining how he was going to push her down the stairs.  If she hadn’t been terrified I might not have gotten there in time.  When I tried convincing him of how dangerous what he wanted to do was, he started into his ever ready explanation of his “safety measures”. Yes, he was planning on sending her down the stairs, but he was going to stay in front of her to make sure she didn’t go too fast.

Lydia was walking around the house with a pencil.  When I asked her what she was doing she pointed the eraser end at me and said “sshhhhooooooo, you’re a baby duck”.  I decided play along.  I started to walk towards her waddling and quacking.  She began to run and several laps around the house later she pointed it at me again and said “shhhooo  you’re a froggy”.  By the time I was too winded to play anymore I had been a cat, snake, lion, monkey, tiger, rabbit and water. Judging by her reactions each was as fearsome as the one before. I think the fairy godmother costume at Halloween went to her head.

Up to his belly button

Years ago I came up with some catch phrases to explain distances, size and amounts to my children.  When we are shopping they are to stay in high-five range (close enough to give me a high-five).  You need to try as many bites of a new food as you are old and so forth. When my two youngest boys asked if they could take a bubble bath I agreed, but reminded them that the water should be no higher than Peter's belly button, since he is the younger and smaller of the two. My back was turned during this conversation so I missed John measuring to see where Peter's belly button was.  I am grateful Melissa saw and quickly added "When he is sitting down!" Emma chimed in "Sitting on his bottom!"  We wanted no misunderstandings or floods in the bathroom. You can never be too careful, especially with those two.

My Ivory Tower

I have enjoyed living my life in an ivory tower, cut off from most of the negative influences of the world.  My viewing habits, and associations are arranged to avoid foul language, graphic violence  and obscenities. The entire family lives by these standards. It was unavoidable today.  We had a critique of our film editing project.  I was expecting to hear things I wouldn't appreciate.  I wasn't ready for this.  In 3 hours I heard and saw more garbage that in all my adult life before this class. What was the most disturbing thing was the reactions of the other class members.  If it was violent or crude it was funny or wonderful.  If it was clean it wasn't worth commenting on. I want my tower back!

My life is changing and then again it's not.

The phone rang and I picked it up.  The person on the other end said they were looking for people to participate is a study involving children’s immunizations, was I the parent or guardian of a child between the ages of 2 months and 24 months?  Ummm, no!  Weird, how could that be?  I’ve been able to answer yes to that question for 25 years.

 John is not the only scientist in the house.  What do they say about Thomas Edison?  He failed how many times before getting anything right?  There must be something in the name.  I popped microwave popcorn for the kids as an afterschool snack.  Willard got the idea to put the unpopped kernels back in the microwave to see if more heat would pop them. Obviously a few kernels are not enough to absorb the rays.  The microwave overheated and stopped.  We figured he had killed it. I unplugged it to let it rest in peace. With little hope in my heart I plugged it back in to make sure it was really truly dead.  Surprise, it sprang to life. It smelled funny for a few days, but it worked fine.  No one was more relieved than Willard. If he handed over every cent that came into his hands it would take him until he was at least 13 to get out of debt to us.

Roy is ownstairs trying to convince Peter that the nap he took lasted all night and now it is Monday morning.  He’s not buying it. They learn young in this house. Now he is trying it on Melissa.  It took her a little longer. I think it worked on Tyler years ago and he is just hoping he can get it to work again.

 

Peter is really starting to read.  It is fun to watch. Lydia is great at encouraging him.  She asks him to read to her.  Actually she asks everyone and she has learned that bringing a book to Dad will get bedtime delayed.  It is not unusual to see the kids from Willard on down on our bed with Roy reading to them when everyone is supposed to be in bed.

We may be done parenting babies, but we are a long way from being done.

Lucy Jean Wilkins

It took me much longer to get to this than I thought it would.  Little Lucy decided that waiting until Monday was just too long.  Sarah went into labor Thursday and Lucy was born that afternoon.  There was no time to try and turn her a C-Section was a must.  The cord was wrapped around her neck so it could have been dangerous. I was on the phone with her when they were deciding if it was time to go to the hospital (hard contractions 2-3 minutes apart "yes"!) At the hospital, right before the c-section and afterward a few times.  This is just an example of the many levels of my life woven together.  All this started just as I was arriving home from class and continued through getting kids home from school, parent teacher conferences, a wrestling tournament and a cub scout space derby. My sister suggested that I drop everything for the baby.  That would have been nice, but sitting by the phone waiting for the next call isn't my style and some of these other things were a big deal for the child involved.  It has all worked out very nicely.

 I wasn't there for the birth, but I did get there the night before their discharge.  I stayed in the hospital and Jace went home to one last  good night's sleep.  Between the two of us (Sarah and I) we did alright.  I slept while she was nursing and held the baby so she could sleep. She is a sweet baby and only cries when there is really something wrong.  She started out having a little trouble nursing, but is doing better all the time. They say C-section babies are the prettiest and they thing they are right.  She wasn't beat up during the birth, instead mommy is.  Sarah is doing really well.  She is up and moving around just about as well as if she had a normal delivery.  She is starting to wean herself off of the pain meds and that is improving her mood.  She feels more like herself. Smiles are coming more easily.

 There are some perks to being in Utah.  They came to the hospital room with the sacrament.  I don't think I have ever appreciated it more.  It was lovely and they left a message about the importance of these little ones so soon from our Father; how they bless our lives. I don't often cry during the sacrament. I sure did that day.

It dawned on me while I was making dinner last night that I have accumulated quite a bit of experience and knowledge about babies, nursing and running a house hold. I've never thought much about it.  Most women have children, many nurse, everyone has to maintain their home.  It may not seem important, but it sure is to the family who benefits from that knowledge.  I didn't have my Mom handy, she was an ocean away and phone calls were prohibitively expensive.  I read everything I could.  It doesn't matter how you learn.  More than anything,  I think it is just the desire that is important.  Do your best and the Lord will make up the rest. 

New Boots

It snowed. Not enough to cause many problems with the streets, just enough to play in.  Of course, Lydia wanted to go out. I had bought some boots for her at the end of the season last year and stored them in the garage.  I found them and cut the tags off, then put them on Lydia. She stumbled around the kitchen then complained "Mom, I can't walk in these boots!"  Silly me, I had forgotten to take the tissue paper out of the toes.

Love me

Lydia found a stuffed toy that sings "Jesus Loves Me" when you press a button in the hand.  We have had it for a while, but like most things it has been forgotten for a time and then rediscovered. During lunch I had the song running through my head so I decided to ask Lydia if Jesus loves her. With no hesitation she answered "yes". I decided to keep going and asked if her Daddy loved her, "yes", and Ryan "yes".  Then she interrupted, "And you love me!"  "That's right I love you so much!" I thought that would be the end of the conversation. Then Lydia said. "And I love me!" I wish always I felt so secure in the arms of love.

John the Scientist

John is 6 years old and wants to be an inventor when he grows up.  He's not waiting.  His first invention that has "worked" is a network of shoe laces that he uses to connect the pull string from the ceiling fan to the string on the light in his closet to turn on the lights in his bedroom.

Saturday, Ryan came home with 9 extra large helium balloons.  Sunday, John decided to use them to do an experiment.  He knew he could tie them to toys to make them float, but in true "Up" style he decide to try to make a person float.  Who was the likely candidate?  Lydia, the smallest person in the house.  He took her to the stairs where the ceiling is the highest and gave her all the balloons.  Mom is very grateful that the experiment didn't work.  He told me it was OK because he was ready to grab her feet once she lifted off.

This week he brought home a small toy snake that he had received as a reward for good behavior.  What could John do with this?  Hmmmm, water makes plants grow.  Would soaking it in water make it grow?  He decided to find out.  He filled a cereal bowl with water placed it on the kitchen counter and put the snake in it.  Nothing happen to the snake, but dad was startled when he came home from work.  For a split second he thought it was real.  If the success of an experiment is measured in emotional response from his parents he is right on every time!

Grandma

I am heading off to Utah this next week.  Sarah is scheduled to have a C-section, her baby is breach, and she wants me there. Her husband is leaving town 3 days later for a job interview and both of them want me there for her then. I'm just not sure how useful I will be in the days in between. I wasn't even sure if I could get away, but everything has fallen into place. I have a wonderful proffessor who is understanding and will work with me so this doesn't destroy my grade. A classmate in my other class will help me stay caught up and turn in my work for me. The kids are out of school for fall break so I don't need babysitters. The final piece to the puzzle is that we were able to change the plane reservations.  Instead of being gone during Thanksgiving week, I will be missing Halloween.  That's an acceptable trade.  I leave the day after Neal's 18th birthday, come home the morning of Lydia's 3rd birthday all to be there for my granddaughter's birthday. One week and one day and I'll be a grandma!

Another Blog

OK my trusty followers.  I have not been blogging as I used to.  Why you ask?  I am splitting my time.  My 4D art class requires a blog and I have been writing there.  The subject however is very different.  I am talking art. Photos of some of my work is found there.If you are interested the site is DarleneKThomas.wordpress.com.

My second distraction is Tyler.  I send him 2-3 page letters every week and those take a bit of my time.  When I think of it I will try to start copying some of those stories here. 

Here is an excerpt from this last week.  My foot is healing from the break and I am wearing shoes now; rocker soles so I don't bend the foot. It feels good in the morning, but by evening it hurts.

Friday evening my foot was hurting, Dad and Melissa were at the Rockies game, Ryan was out, somewhere, so I had Neal drive me to finish birthday shopping for Peter.  The car was out of gas, really, really out of gas so of course we’ve got to get some. While Neal is pumping I see this guy ride up on his bike, he has a head lamp and a claw.  He starts going through the trash cans looking for cans.  He finds 2 in the first can.  He crushes one then opens the second and drinks it before crushing it.  I wonder how many cans it took to buy the lamp and the fancy claw thing.

                From there we go to Target.  Neal is easily distracted in the toy aisle and of no help picking anything out.  Honestly they don’t seem to make as many good toys as they used to.  Either that or we already own the really good stuff. I head over to the crafts and find a toy light table.  As much as the kids wanted to play with mine I think it’s a good idea and get it.

                Back at the car I notice that the door to the gas is open.  On closer inspection the gas cap is gone. Yup, Neal had put it on the roof and driven off.  I made him go back to the gas station to look for it.  No luck, then I made him go in and ask.  They had one, but it didn’t fit. Too bad, now Neal had an extra chore to do Saturday. That was a $10 lesson.

Lydia's clothes

There was a time that Lydia liked picking out her clothes. That phase seems to be over. And it seems to be my fault.

Lydia has been getting away with not wearing pants lately.  She is wearing a dress, or better just a shirt and training pants while she is learning to be consistent about using the toilet.  Friday, she decided clothes were optional and she wasn’t wearing any.  I left her alone for half an hour hoping she would change her mind.  She didn’t.  After trying to convince her, bribe her and threaten her, I finally wrestled her into a shirt and panties with her kicking and screaming the whole while.  After I was done she stomped out of the room only to return a few minutes later.  She had stripped and hidden her clothes. When she says “I don’t want to!” she means it.

Deductive Reasoning and a Two Year Old

Lydia is home alone.  Everyone else is in school and she only has Mom and the dog to keep her company.  For me this is a huge change.  I am used to a small group of preschoolers running around.  The up side is that she will watch the "princess movies" that her three older brothers shunned.  They have been sitting around collecting dust since Emma started school 7 years ago.

Today is was Snow White.  During the movie Lydia got hungry and asked for a snack.  When I asked her what she wanted she thought for a moment, looked at the TV screen, saw the wicked queen lift the apple out of the vat of poison and gave the obvious answer "an apple".  Wouldn't an apple dripping poison in the shape of a skull make everyone want one?  She happily munched her snack through the rest of the movie. She didn't even pause when Snow White fell to the ground unconscious.  I wondered how deeply she thought about things.

Deeper that I thought.  A few moments later she announced the need to use the bathroom.  Toilet training began last week with little interest or success.  A bag of chocolate candy increased the interest and the success the last two days.  After a successful trip to use the toilet and the promised reward/bribe, she waited a few minutes and decided that the candy was so good that she needed another and sitting on the toilet would get it for her.  She sent he audience (me) away, waited a bit then announce that she was "all done".  Of course this was all an act for my benefit and the acquisition of chocolate.  When I called her on it she reluctantly relented to the fact that she hadn't truly earned another treat.  Mom is not quite as easy to fool as she thought.

Treasured Find

My sister and I have often commented about how little we have written by my mother.  Now that she is gone we wish we had letters, a journal or anything.  I have found some lists and little notes to herself left in some of her books, but they are very impersonal and don't fill the need we are feel.

Just before Christmas I made an exciting discovery.  I was cleaning out the basement, looking for things to get rid of.  I found some spiral notebooks, some were previously used by my children in school.  Teachers have a way of having the children use the first 10 pages or so and never touching the rest.  Even worse we get notebooks home that have been labeled with their name and subject that were never used.  I was thumbing through these trying to decided what was worth keeping and what was trash, when I came across a thick notebook that looked as though it had never been used at all.  I opened the first page and was surprised to find a single journal entry written by my mother.  She spoke of how she planned to start writing regularly. It was only one page.  That page is precious to me especially the lines that told of her hopes for her children and future grandchildren.  I copied it and gave a copy to my Father, Brother and Sister.  It made my sister wish for more.  I agree with her, but I am so very thankful for that single page.

Getting the News Out

Ok I was wrong.  The whole world didn't know about Audrey.  This week I ran into  quite a few people who had not heard and some of them were hurt to think that it happened a month ago.  Now  I am working on making sure people know. Electronic communication has not quite reached every corner of the globe.  Even stranger, after I started telling people, other people started coming to me and offering their congratulations.  The grape vine is still alive and growing.

We saw the break down in communication with Dick Adair's passing away this last week.  Those at church heard the announcement, but it didn't spread as far and as wide as people who cared.  We saw the Carlson's at the Temple Wednesday evening and they didn't know about either event. Dick Adair was 91 years old.  His family knew he wasn't long for this earth, but none of the rest of us did.  I sat in church and cried. He and his wife have been so kind to us.  She asked Tyler to lead the music for the funeral.  Other than his family, most of those in attendance were elderly.  I started thinking how I want to have young friends, no matter how old I get.  What will the technology be like then?  Is the new technology help or hurting the generation gaps?  I think we will always benefit the most from face to face interaction.

Audrey's news

Audrey is engaged to Richard Farnsworth. The whole world knew almost instantly from Face Book.  Still I think I will tell the story not just post the news. The two started dating last July. Roy saw Richard in the Temple when we were there with Sarah for the first time.  He suggested, maybe that is too mild a word.  He requested that Richard take Audrey out on a date.  Richard was surprised, but since he had considered asking her out anyway he called her before the week was out.  At first it was one date a week,  then two and soon they were spending anytime they could together. He lives in Golden, where he attends the School of Mines, so getting across town can be some work for him.  Especially since he didn't have a car until October.

When he invited Audrey to accompany his family to General Conference we knew things were getting serious. It is interesting that Audrey has never dated much and just as things with Richard were progressing she got a call from another man asking for a date. She had a bit of a personal dilemma.  She wanted to go out with him, but she didn't want to mess things up with Richard.  She and Richard had not talked about being exclusive so she wasn't sure where she stood.  All the men in our house agreed that if she was invited to go to Utah; Richard considered her his girlfriend. We talked and she decided that Richard was to important to risk.  Her confirmation came later that week when they made it official that they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

The engagement came the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. He came to talk to us  and ask our blessing the week before.  Keeping a secret has never been harder. He had some cute romantic plans involving a jigsaw puzzle that didn't work out. The ring was finished before the puzzle and he couldn't bear to wait any longer.  Audrey has never been happier. As my father says "They are a match made is heaven!"

They are planning on getting married March 9th.  At first the plan was for May, which would fit into my life easier, but when do these things ever fit my plans? We had dessert with his family last night and started discussing somethings-my head just isn't in it right now. This is finals week.  I may sound a bit like Scarlett O'Hara, but I'll think about it later.

Tyler's Mission Call

This last week was full of excitement. We celebrated Neal's 17th birthday on Wednesday. The very next day Tyler received his mission call.  It came while he was at work so we called my Dad and Tyler's best friend Tyler so they could be here when he got home and share in the moment. Roy had to use the moment to pull a prank, of course.  I'm not going to talk about that here. You can go to Tyler's Face book for a full description and some video. I think most of the world found out about it from Face book.  I tried to call my sister with the news, but it had already reached her.

Tyler will be going to Kentucky.  He reports to the Mission Training Center on January 11th.  He was afraid that will all the delays getting his paperwork finished it would push back his report date.  It didn't.  We now have a little over two months to get him ready.  Physically ready that is.  He's been preparing spiritually and mentally his whole life.  Every night I see him reading his scriptures.  It doesn't matter if it is late because he's been out with friends.  I now am trying  to  follow his example and take the time to realign myself with things that matter before I go to sleep on a regular basis, not haphazardly, as I have done in the past. He talks to his friends and acquaintances about the Church.  It because of this his friend Savion was baptised. He is so excited about going that you can't be around him long without catching that excitement.

It will be many years before I can go serve a mission so I am finding ways to do my part now. I just checked Mormon.org.  My profile is up.  It is fun to see.  We were just talking about the website yesterday at church.  The TV ads make it look cool to be Mormon.  Tyler told me about talking to Mr. Richard about it.  He thinks it's great.  When he moved here from Nebraska he had never met a Mormon before. When he found out that there were five in his choir class he called his mom and told her he was afraid they would kill him.  Now he goes the High School's Seminary class to recruit Mormon kids to join his classes and he sent his children to me for daycare. He feels that we are misunderstood and the publicity will help change that.

Planning

Last week the kids had Monday off of school.  I would like to say it was for Columbus Day, but it wasn't.  It was a teacher work day for the end of the grading period. The kids were excited and so was I. I had worked ahead in my classes to leave the day as free as possible to spend time together.  I had planned a trip to the Doctor for Emma and 3 of the boys who needed shots, but that was all. All other plans were supposed to be for fun.  Then we woke up that morning.

Several years ago Blake got this great idea to try and jump off the stage at church and while in the air to twist his body and throw a basket ball up and make the perfect basket. The thought was intriguing and the trick would have been spectacular. Not every plan works the way we think it will.  This one didn't.  He fell and broke one of his front teeth. Unfortunately it was an adult tooth.  He has forever lost the privilege of biting into a whole apple. It was repaired and except for the warning not to bite with it, he was as good as new. Now 3 years later he woke up and the filling had fallen off the tooth. We were not sure how exactly that happened; it doesn't matter the tooth had to be fixed, that day.

Now my plans for the day were rewritten. Blake need to go to the dentist. I was blessed that the dentist had an opening at noon which gave me time to get the kids to the Doctor and back. It was a new dentist, of course, so I had a pile of paper work to fill out at the first visit to asses the damage.  We had to come back at 2:00 for the "real" visit. Blake looks wonderful, even better than before. If there is one lesson I have learned while raising this gang of children, it is the importance of being flexible.  I never know what is coming next.

I'm Back

The summer flew by! I stopped blogging because I was dealing with some medical issues I wasn't willing to tell the world about. Just as that was ending, and I mean only hours after getting home from the hospital, my daughter Sarah called to announce her engagement. There I was needing some rest and recovery and facing planning a wedding.  I hate to admit it, but I was too exhausted physically and emotionally to be excited.  It was a little slow in coming.

At first they were going to get married in December which would have allowed plenty of time to plan, but they were also considering the end of August.  For several very practical and smart reasons August ruled and I had 6 weeks to pull together a wedding.  During that time we had a trip to Utah to make; where we attended a Thomas family reunion and were able to meet Jace and his family.  It was a busy and exhausting time.  Different children headed off to camps and activities all while I was attending classes, doing homework and trying to get my strength and stamina back.  With the help of the Lord and some friends it all worked.

The wedding was August 12th.  One week after my finals.  We might have tried to push it back week or two, but the temple closed the 13th for renovations and she wanted to be married here, not in Utah.  As it was everything went smoothly and it was an absolutely beautiful day. They went on a quick honey moon to Glenwood Springs and then went home to Provo.  Roy and I took the two littlest children and went to their reception in Utah on the 22nd.  I had to miss the first day of my classes this semester, that was OK. The happy couple is keeping busy working, going to school and living the life of poor college students.  What could be more romantic?

I could write pages on the happenings of this summer and I may come back in the future. For now, I want to record my commitment to begin writing again.  This semester I am taking three classes - 10 units - I don't think I have ever been so busy. I didn't think there was anyway I could keep up with a blog, so it has fallen by the wayside.  Sundays are going to be the key.  I am going to try and write at least a few minutes on Sundays.  I don't do school work, or any major housework. I think I can find time here. It is an activity absolutely in keeping with the spirit of the sabbath.

Personal Histories

Dad just dropped by.  He has started to write his life story and didn't know how much detail to go into. He was asking the kids what they wanted to read about in his history.  I'm not sure they care.  To kids last week is ancient history. 

When I was in college I lived with  my grandfather Moulton for a year.  He told me some of his life stories.  I listened and most of them were interesting, but I could have asked for more.  I didn't.  Now,  I wish I had the opportunity to ask hundreds of questions.  I have recorded much of what I remember, but so much is lost forever. 

My other grandfather used to call me almost daily to talk when I was a new wife and mother.  We lived close enough that the calls were local (which meant free).  This was long before unlimited minutes. We could talk as long as I had time to listen.  I am embarrassed to admit it, but some days I wouldn't answer the phone to avoid his calls.  I had trouble with some of his racist ideas and talk of conspiracies.  He also told me stories from his past.  I still need to write those down.  They were more trivial and he repeated them so many times that I was certain I would never forget.  He talked about day to day life.  Many of his stories revolved around growing up. Once again, the chance to ask questions is gone.  I was so busy changing diapers and running a home that I didn't think that there would come a day that he would be gone.

I am glad that Dad is writing his history. I wish my grandfathers had taken the time to write as well as tell me about their lives.  It's a heavy burden to be the one responsible for keeping their stories.  I will be grateful to hear about my Dad's life and also my Mom's life through my Dad. She never seemed to tell us any stories from her life.  I think to her the past was best forgotten.  She seemed insecure with her capabilities and embarrassed by her mistakes.  She wasn't proud of her family growing up.  Even her handwriting bothered her.   By the time we realized that we were losing her, it was too late, her memories had become confused. More than anyone I feel the loss of her stories.

For me, I hope that my patchy journals will be left to tell my posterity who I was.  Today, I hope that this blog can tell my family who I am and in the future it will tell the stories they want to read.